The Artist’s Way - Week Ten

I know what my blocks are. I’ve referenced them a ton through sharing this process with you.

Was it last week or the one prior where I was discussing my insatiable need for the dopamine rush I get through immediate productivity and putting that before all my creative work? Taking time to dedicate myself to my creativity over the more “practical” tasks makes me feel guilty and anxious. But then there those tasks never end, and my time never goes towards my creativity. That’s when I know it’s a self-imposed block.

The other high ranking block: my phone, the doom scrolling, and the constant checking for emails and notifications. Even with having third party apps that block my social media for over eight hours a day, I still spend way too much time and energy on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. On particularly screen-heavy days, I feel like my brain literally hurts. Yet over and over again I defend my need to be on social media as a way to further my career. I’m not using as such though, and I think the potential of some time away from the internet would do everyone some good.

I’m making excuses. That’s what’s happening. I’m blocking myself.

I will admit that I am a little bit of a workaholic. This is despite setting very clear boundaries with my day jobs. But I have no boundaries with my creative work - and it is work. By wanting a career in it, I have turned my art into work instead of free, fun, playful expression.

Perhaps it is time to set some clear boundaries within my creative work so it feels less like work and more like what made me excited to do it in the first place. Maybe then I will give myself the time to actually relax, and to play, and to rest, and to recharge.