The Artist’s Way - Week Two
“Do not let your doubt become self-sabotage.”
I feel like week 2 came at a very interesting time. I had written a quite revealing entry in my morning pages about my current friendships a couple of days before reading the chapter. The first part of the latter asks us to examine our lives and relationships. As artists, we must protect ourselves from potential poisonous people, people who expect us to put their needs above our own.
I’m not sure if I have explored it on here before, but I have a lot of anxiety about time - how much of it I have, the amount of control I feel I have over it, etc. This chapter always brings up complicated feelings surrounding this particular anxiety of mine. It forces me to evaluate how I spend my days and what little time I have to dedicate to what I truly love and want to be doing. Between working, daily errands/chores, trying to have some semblance of a social life, and the time I am dedicating each week to The Artist’s Way, there is only a sliver of it left to dedicate to acting and writing.
There are people in my life who, whether they realize it or not, expect a lot of my time: my employers, certain familial obligations, and friends of mine. And I don’t feel any ill will towards these groups, I just need to make some changes in myself. We are just as much to blame for our sabotage as others are. It is very easy to forget that our needs are just as important as the needs of others. Cameron does her best to remind us of that in this chapter.
When I wrote down my resolutions at the beginning of the year, one of the chief among them was to find balance. I am constantly chasing after my idea of a “balanced life.” To me, that’s equal amounts of work, play, and being active. It’s being with yourself just as much as you are with others. I’m not sure how close I am to finding that. I don’t know if finding that is possible, but I hope this process points me in the right direction.
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“Attention is an act of connection.”
The end of this chapter reminds us that being an artist requires paying attention. I have always found that the tiny details of life are the most beautiful. Decades-old molding at the top of a building that has fragmented over time. My grandparents hold hands briefly as they walk down the street like they’re still the young kids who met on the way to school, and not eighty years old with four kids and over fifty years of marriage behind them. The way the air smells on a Friday night in New Brunswick vs. a Sunday in Princeton. There is joy and beauty to be found in paying close attention. Focusing on the small and wonderful aspects of life shows us what matters and helps get us through the days when the big things are too scary.
Week 2 Check In:
Number of days I completed my morning pages:
6.5/7
Anything to elaborate on?
I love the morning pages. I feel sort of addicted to them. If I don’t get to sit down and write at least three pages first thing, I spend all day thinking of when I’ll be able to.
Did you do your artist date?
Yes. I walked through Central Park down to Midtown. Then I rode the subway back and took myself to dinner at this taco place I like on the corner of 73rd St.
